SnowGhost Music

Not too long ago, a friend of mine sent me a YouTube video of a little boy playing drums. According to the title of the clip, the kid is five years old, and apparently, he has spent all five of his years behind the drum set. He’s not just keeping time and playing along with dad and Uncle Bill; he’s totally shredding at home, and then he’s holding it down with some kind of jazzy European orchestra, complete with an epic drum solo. I’m pretty sure I could dedicate the next 8 years of my life to doing nothing but playing the drums and I still wouldn’t hold a candle to this little Tiger Woods of a drummer. Some people are put in front of an instrument, given a few tips or hints or diagrams, and they simply get it. It’s as if they were created specifically to show us all how an instrument can become a direct and absolute physical incarnate of a creative emotion.

For the rest of us, we actually have to figure out how to play an instrument. Though I learned the guitar a long time ago, it’s easy for me to remember how difficult it was to teach myself to play it. All I have to do is pick up a left-handed guitar. Even though I already know all the notes and proper fingering, I have to set each finger individually and carefully on the strings just like any beginner. And then I have to figure out how to strum with my left hand. My brain knows technically how to play the guitar, which is an obvious advantage over an absolute novice, but I still have to develop the muscle memory for my fingers to be able to carry out my brain’s instructions.

It can be a pretty long road to musicianship, depending on patience, natural ability, available time, and most importantly, desire. So if you’re just picking up an instrument or sitting down with one for the first time, or even just thinking about it, I offer you this completely stereotypical and possibly useless list of types of musicians, so that you might possibly be able to identify yourself and thus see how long or short your road to musicianship might be. Enjoy!

1. The Natural. The aforementioned little drummer boy certainly falls into this category, gracefully of course. Though you needn’t be a prodigy at the ripe age of 5, it certainly helps to be young with a sponge for a mind. Most Naturals could play almost any instrument you gave them, especially after they’ve already figured out a few others. These people could read and speak Mandarin Chinese in a month if they wanted to. Or they could casually pick up a banjo and learn both parts of ‘Dueling Banjos’ after hearing it once as a ringtone. The Natural can even seem disinterested, though they are usually humble and even dismissive of their obvious talent because they feel bad that it’s so easy for them and hard for everyone else. This person is a guitar teacher’s dream/nightmare. Their job is certainly easier, but think of Mozart and Salieri. The teacher has spent most of his or her life learning and practicing, possibly even going to school for it, and then here comes this kid who may or may not even practice, and they are better at it in a year. Ah, Life!

2. The Disciplinarian. Definitely the teacher’s dream, and probably destined to be a teacher of some kind in the future. The Disciplinarian lives to practice, and whatever free time they have, they dedicate it to their instrument. They are the nuns and monks of musicianship, and their faith does not waiver. They are usually very technical and mathematic with their craft and are far more likely to excel at sight-reading than songwriting. Though the Disciplinarian often has plenty of natural ability, it is not absolutely necessary. This person will master their instrument, and the idea of taking time off from their craft confuses them and makes them feel uneasy. They are like fanatical body builders minus the gym and the supplements. And the muscles too, probably.

3. The Two-Chord Songwriter. This person may have the feel and rhythm of the Natural, but they lack the desire to expand their repertoire. The Two-Chord Songwriter scoffs at the Disciplinarian’s dedication to improvement because they’ve already learned the minimum amount of chords to begin composing songs. And compose they do, usually songs heavy on soul and short on complexity. The TCSW has always wanted to be on VH1’s Storytellers, and they often close their eyes as they sing and play their two chords. The more daring TCSW may even dabble in the incredibly soulful one note solo or half scale riff, but usually it’s just two chords and a lot of Jack Johnson guitar slapping.

4. The Average Joe/Jane.This is obviously the most popular category, as well as the widest-ranging. Joe and Jane have decided to play an instrument, whether it’s because they want to be in a band or simply to learn how to play a Coldplay song, and they are going to do just that. Joe or Jane may write some songs eventually and play them at open mics or parties. They also may get really good at the pentatonic scale, listen to Medeski, Martin, and Wood, and frequently talk about having a ‘jam.’ May or may not have much soul, but still capable of evolving or peaking quickly. They come in any age group and can either be introverts or extroverts, so that you may never know when you are around one. Guitar Center caters to them and thus will always have customers.

5. The Quitter. Perhaps the saddest category, you can always spot a quitter by how out of tune and dusty their instrument is. Young Quitters tend to quit because they’d rather be doing something else or because they resent their possibly being forced to play. Older Quitters tend to stop because they don’t have time or they simply lose the spark. The Quitter is probably frustrated at the amount of time required to learn and simply doesn’t think it’s worth it. Quitters tend to exhibit short attention spans and enjoy making empty promises. True Quitters have already stopped reading this and are off doing something else they will not finish.

So there you have it. You can exhibit traits of any category, but surely you will identify yourself within one of the above groups and find your road to music exactly as I have described it. Hopefully you decide to make the journey regardless, unless of course you are a quitter.